Half-Light
by SleepiPanda
Summary: Isabella and Gabriella Helen Swan were a strange sort. Especially that Gabby. Just by watching them you can tell something wasn't quite right with those two. Rated M for Language and Adult Themes
1. Chapter 1

_If anyone is interested in helping me with this lemme know. I dont have the best track record with keeping up with my fics._

 _and my grammar is garbage._

 _designer garbage_

 _like me_

* * *

This couldn't be happening. I absolutely refuse. I will not have anything to do with this. Nu-uh. Nope.

I completely reject this. I abolish it.

"They look so alike." A large blob, who apparently was my mother, dabbed my nose with her pointer finger. A deeper voice chuckled,"They should. They are identical." That would be my father. In his arms was my little sister.

Or rather, what I hoped just happened to be a name coincidence that two parents made. I sincerely hoped my new parents were just trashy teen book fans who happened to have the same names as the main characters parents.

 _Charlie_ and _Renee_.

Please let them just be nerds. Lord Almighty Above, please let them just be book fanatics who like a cruel joke. Maybe it was just bad luck. They were common names right?

Isabella and _Jesus fucking Christ_ , they named me _Gabriella_.

Gabriella _motherfucking_ HELEN _goddamn_ Swan.

Why my sister gets a cute ass name and I get stuck with this fucking atrocity, please let me know. Not knocking on those cute lil' grannies with those names, but it is 2016, thank you. Wait.. Is it even 2016 anymore? Wasn't she born in the 80's?

Oh no. Please. Throw anything you want at me, anyone. Anything but _DIAL-UP INTERNET!_ I'm getting flashbacks of the horrid noise the computer made connecting to the phone line.

R.I.P. my ears.

I was born in the 90's, I already went through the hellish styles of 2000-2005, I can't do it again. I'm going to die here.

I died once, I can do it again.

"Awww look, Gabby makes the same face you do." Renee cooed. Charlie coughed,"I don't look like that." My new mom threw her head back and I swear her laugh reminded me of wind chimes. "Yeah, you do. I've seen that face so many times!"

That's right. I had died, haven't I? The details were off a bit. I think I was..attacked? Yeah. I was walking with.. my dog? Yes. I had just gotten fired from work that day, I can't remember why for the life of me. After going back to my studio apartment, Bourbon needed to go out so we went for a walk. We had gotten three blocks down and then- I was jumped. I can remember a man jumping out at me, the frightening sight of a knife, Bourbon was _snarling-_

I had died. I had died trying to keep a stranger from _stabbing my pitbull._

I remember his cold blue eyes and the smell of alcohol on his stank ass breath.

I could feel my face scrunching up, I was getting really upset. Oh no, no no nonononono. I will not-

"Whhaaa-aaa!" I shit you not. I started crying. This little body's emotions were getting the best of me. I started bawling, the reality of this situation as making itself known.

Renee gasped,"Oh! Gabby!" She began rocking me, trying to calm her baby down. But I wasn't her baby was I?

Bella started crying too.

At least I wasn't in this alone.

* * *

I think it has been a month or two since then.

Since I have been unexpectedly added to this story as what I hope not a main character. Who am I kidding, I better hope I'm not a fucking Mary Sue. From what I've been hearing, I was a little surprise. Only one baby was expected, further confirming whomever or whatever is watching me has a sick sense of humor.

My parents were happy that they didn't have to fight over which of their mothers got the honor of having a baby named after them. Speaking of my new parents, there has been trouble in paradise lately. Maybe. I don't know.

Charlie has been working very late nearly everyday, I think. It's hard to tell. I'm always sleeping or eating, and it is hard to stay awake sometimes. When I was awake, I was busy inspecting my surroundings, as well as my new sister. Bella had normal baby behavior. I think. I've never been around babies before.

I now know, that this was a crazy ass situation.

How I know for sure?

Well, on one of the few days that Charlie was home, he had a few of his friends come over to meet his twins.

Billy Black, Harry Clearwater, and Quil Ateara _the I-don't-know-which-one-because-I-never-found-out-how-to-read-roman-numerals._

I think he was suppose to be baby Quil's dad. The dude was never really mentioned from what I remember of the books, but I do think he could have been Embry's dad. It was either him, Harry, Billy, or some other kid's dad.

Watching them interact from the sling strapped to my father's front, laughing at shitty Dad Jokes, I think it was either Quil's dad, or Sam's dad.

From the way Quil talks about his wife, I hope it was Sam's dad.

"Well look at you!" The stout one cackled. I think that was Quil? I wouldn't be able to tell. My vision is still shit and I have nearly no control of my neck because I have a big ass bobble head. Currently, Charlie had me strapped to his front, Bella to his back.

"This one is very cute Charlie." I think it was Harry, he leaned in and stroked my head gently. Charlie laughed. "You guys know what cuter than one baby?" He slowly turned around. "Two babies!" I think Bella fell asleep. She seemed to sleep like a rock at this point. Or maybe she was awake. Bella was a very quiet baby.

Billy thought it was funny.

"Haha! This one is cute too! Luckily for me, Rachel and Rebecca are fraternal. Good luck telling these two beauties apart."

I heard some rustling, though I guess it was hard to pay attention. Harry was trying to keep my attention with something brightly colored, and damn it all it was working.

Sooner or later, both me and my sister were taken out of the slings. I swear we were hot potatoes by the way the adults were passing us around. I did make an interesting discovery.

Billy was walking. He was very tall with long legs that went for miles. He had long, shiny, black hair that Bella had an obsession with. She kept grabbing at it, immersed in the locks. I can see where Jacob got it from. Er- Will get it from. Pretty sure Billy only has a set of twins at this point. I thought this dude was in a wheelchair? I was never too sure how exactly he ended up in one. Didn't he have diabetes?

It's weird. The way they just happily bantered with each other. Like they didn't know how Renee will break Charlie in about a month. I felt resentment towards my mother. I've heard her speaking to her mother, my grandmother, on the phone. I've never met Marie Higginbotham, but she sure sounded like a grade A stone cold bitch to Renee.

Gran Marie did not like dad. I could hear her putting mom down and pressuring her to 'come back home.' Even though she's constantly putting Mom down..? Then again, she knows mom.

I quickly developed mixed feelings about it.

* * *

Renee was showing signs of depression, along with that anxiety. She wasn't happy.

Mom has been.. droopy, so to say. She looks like she should be living on the coast in Florida eating fro-yo and doing Yoga every Wednesday. The rainy and cloudy nature of this town was wearing her down. She tried to paint the kitchen cabinets a bright sunshine yellow. I didn't really like Renee in the books, but seeing this first hand was a completely different story.

Renee was miserable here. She loved Charlie, she loved Bella, she loved me- She hated this town. She hated how cold it was here, she hated how the sun never shined, and most of all; Renee hated the people in this small town.

The people in this town were poisonous to others who did not fit into their standards. They didn't like how this out-of-town hippy snapped up one fine upstanding young man who had everything going for him. She had trapped him. They even had the gall to imply that Bella and I weren't even his.

Mom wanted to leave this place and wanted dad to go with her. He was taking care of both as his parents, whose health was steadily declining. Charlie couldn't leave.

I can feel the anger deep in my belly. I guess Bella could too. She cried more.

Renee did too when she thought we were sleeping.

* * *

I knew this was coming. I hoped it never would, but I've learned hoping does nothing. I'm an infant. What could I have done? What has happened you may ask?

Renee finally snapped.

That's what happened. Renee had finally had enough of this shitty hateful town named after an eating utensil.

"Renee _please_!"

"Charlie, I can't!" She sobbed, shoving baby bottles in a diaper bag. "It didn't work out, okay? I really, really hate Forks!"

Her and Charlie had fought and Renee started packing up things. No, that isn't true. They've been fighting for a while. I guess there had been rumors of infidelity circling around and they were taking a toll on Charlie. Charlie already knew about the rumors, but one could only hear so much before lies can get inside and mess with their head. I know that well. But Dad had done something wrong.

He asked my mom if the rumors were true.

That was the breaking point for Mom. Even though she was living in a town she couldn't stand, she would stay because her loyal husband stood by her side to keep her head above water. For him to even ask her that even though he knows about all the shit flying around..

I don't know what possessed him to even question her. Sure, Mom was an air-head. She forgot things. She was insensitive sometimes, a bit selfish at times, and others she didn't really know what to do. But she would never cheat on Charlie, she loved him so much it made _me_ nauseated. However, she loved her babies so much more.

Bella was sleeping in her pink car seat next to my yellow one Our seats were perched on the coffee table. I was wide awake watching my distressed father try to convince my fed up mother stay. It was too much for them. They loved each other, I could tell that for sure. They were so head over heels for the other, yet one couldn't stand it here.

I was in full view of it all unfolding in front of me.

This is making me strangely reminiscent of my past life. Only, my first father was making my first mom leave, this one was trying to get my second mom to stay. In my past life, I can remember at a young age my father making my mother leave because she was caught stealing his medication. I'm pretty sure she was a pill popper. They also fought over the stupidest shit. I couldn't tell you how many times the police were called.

 **THUD**

Renee was done packing. She had already carried almost everything to the old beige van,basically slamming the back hatches shut. All that was left was Bella and I. Renee rushed back, her hands shaking. She was practically clutching the handles to our car seats.

"Please." Charlie could hardly choke the word out. "Don't break up our family. _Don't take my babies, please._ " His normal deep voice cracked. I've never heard him sound like that before.

Charlie loved all of us so damn much. Even though he was always working, he did it for us. Charlie tried so hard to make sure we would never have to go without what we needed. He had so many unnecessary photos of his small family littered all over the house, it was ridiculous. I'm not joking. I've been carried by so many and I know for a fact that he had so many pictures of Bella and I in his wallet. He even had one of all of us tucked in his car. Some nights he would come into the nursery just to make sure we were still there and breathing.

We were his entire world.

I was set on the ground. I watched Renee strap Bella into the seat behind the driver's seat, avoiding looking at Charlie. "I'm sorry." She shut the door and picked me up, walking to the other side with Charlie close behind; he was still pleading with her.

The man had tears in his eyes. I watched him break down in the driveway as Renee put me in the car. I started to whimper as we drove away. I didn't want to leave my dad alone in that house. I didn't want to move in with Gran.

I didn't want any of this.

* * *

The first year.. was the hardest. For me. Bella wasn't that old when we left, so after a week or so, I guess she had forgotten about dad and stopped crying for him. I never really did. Then again, I have the awareness of a 22 year old woman. Wait..wouldn't it be a 23 year old woman now? Ugh.

Mom didn't really understand why I would start crying. She didn't seem realize that I was looking at things that reminded me of dad. For example, every time I saw flannel, I immediately started blubbering. Bella cried when I did, only because I was sad.

I hate this baby body.

I made sure Bella and I hit all our milestones around the same time. I waited until Bella started to do things, then I did them about the same pace as her.

I didn't want either of us to be singled out.

In a way, I made things worse. Mom had stopped thinking Bella and I as separate children with separate likes and dislikes, as well as personalities. Renee and Helen, Gran, had started to think and treat us as a single unit.

They stopped dressing us differently. I didn't really mind, but most of the time mom would get us mixed up.

We started being referred to as _'The Swan Twins'_ or _'Belly and Gabby'_. When people wanted our attention, they would call " _You Two!_ ". Not Bella Swan and Gabby Swan. I was afraid of that. Well, that and spiders.

A spider bit me when I was almost two and I had to go to the hospital. Bella started screaming when I cried as the doctor gave me a shot. I had gotten a Big Bird Band-Aid and a cherry sucker. Even with the bandage, mom still had mistaken me for Bella. And her for me.

Bella wasn't really afraid of anything. She would just stare at things stoically. Just silently judging them with her baby old man look. Bella did that more than mom thinks. Then again, we are attached at the hip. I see more than Mom does. I never felt this way with any of my other siblings in my previous life. Maybe it's a twin thing? Or perhaps it is because I am always there. I don't know. What I do know is we have this weird...thing.

It's hard to explain. Bella and I can just..know how and what the other is thinking. Not literally, like I want strawberries and Bell just automatically knows I want strawberries specifically. More like.. If I am upset about something, she knows, even if she's in another room and I am across the house. Or when I wake up in the middle of the night because for some reason, I knew my sister had gotten sick. When we play together, we almost never talk. We already knew what the other would want. Renee was worried that we had trouble speaking. So was Gran, even if she was kind of mean about it.

We were taken to a specialist when we were about two and a half. It was quickly explained that we could fully comprehend what was being said to us and that each of us were perfectly capable of speech. We just chose not to talk with the other because we didn't need to. The woman had told our mom that it was common with twins. I didn't think that was true.

We started talking to Gran and mom more after the visit to the specialist. Bella really didn't want to go back. I didn't either. The doctor smelled weird. We didn't like the way she baby-talked to us either.

"Miss you Daddy," I spoke into the phone. "Aww, I miss you to Gabbs." My dad's voice crackled on the other side. I hope he hasn't been drinking.

When we started talking more, mom began to have us call and talk to dad. She didn't want to keep us from him. I hated sitting in the tall chair with the phone attached to the hook on the wall. It was ancient and the sound quality sucked, but I loved talking to my dad.

I miss my iPhone. And my memes.

At least I got out of voting.

I was able to get Bella to talk to Dad more too, but not as much as I would have liked. Then again, she doesn't remember him like I do. Charlie is practically a stranger to her. We actually fought because she called him Charlie instead of Daddy once. She insisted on calling him that because she heard Mom calling him that.

We refused to talk to each other for about 3 hours before we were bawling to the other that we we sorry. Mom thought we were cute. Gran thought it was stupid.

My sister calls Charlie, Daddy now though.

It was during that summer that mom started letting Daddy have us for the entire summer. I loved it. Bella was okay with it, but she'd much rather have a sunny day than a cloudy one like me. One of our few differences.

When we were three, during a summer visit at dad's, Charlie learned while watching us that his twin daughters could communicate without even talking. Like we knew what the other was thinking. He asked Billy about it, since he had more experience with twins, but I guess Rachel and Rebecca acted differently than we did. Maybe it was just our thing?

Daddy asked because he caught me standing on Bella, who was on all fours, so I could reach the cookies Sue baked on the counter. Even with his cop skills, Daddy never heard us speak even though he were sitting at the table in the very same room we were in.

This child's body was affecting the way I thought and acted. I started calling Charlie, Daddy not even a year ago and I've long stopped thinking him as Charlie. I literally threw a temper tantrum because I didn't want him to go to work because heard there was a convict loose and I didn't want my dad chasing after him. Once Bella learned why I was crying, she started crying too.

Charlie thought it was sweet, he started to cry a little. I saw those tears in his eyes. Billy called him out on it, laughing.

"I'm not crying, it's man sweat!"

It was that summer, during one of our visits to Billy, we met baby Jacob. He was the cutest, chubbiest, best little baby I had ever seen. He was cuter than I was, and I would know; I've had a walking mirror next to me my entire life. He was two and just full of smiles. I was immediately smitten.

"Daddy! He's cute!"

Billy crinkled his eyes, holding tight to the giggling Jacob. "Of course he is, he takes after his old man!" Sarah smacked him playfully on the shoulder,"Oh hush up, you."

"Can we keep him?"

This time, Sarah laughed.

I liked the Blacks. They were so full of laughter and they just made you feel so happy when you were around them. I'm grateful Billy and Sarah took care of my dad when Mom left and took us away.

Even Bella was taken with Jacob. I could see why. After we met him, it was a common sight for me to hold on to one of his hands and Bella have his other. We legit helped this kid learn how to walk. This continued on years later. Dad, Billy, and his wife Sarah thought it was the funniest thing. Well, Billy did. Sarah shipped it and Charlie was struck with that thing all dads of young daughters get when they realize they have daughters. He didn't think it was funny after that.

* * *

We kept trying to come back to Forks and in turn, La Push, as so much as we could. I kept trying to tell myself that I was just trying to get my sister to have as many roots as possible. I didn't want her to go with the Cullens. I knew it was a lie. Well, partially a lie.

I was building so many bonds. Bonds and friendships I could only dream of having in my previous life. I wanted Bella to have lots of friends too. Maybe if she did, maybe if she listens to me, my sister will stay human.

Daddy was getting promoted fast. He wouldn't be able to watch his young children as much as he wanted, so he left us at The Black's house a lot. Bella and I didn't really mind. We liked being around Jacob.

We played with each other as much as we could, although, sometimes Jake got me and Bella confused with each other. It was okay though. He got it right than most people did anyway. Even our mom could hardly tell us apart. We later got Quil-the-youngest to play with us too. Sarah didn't mind watching us while dad worked. She liked that Jake had some girls to play with, seeing as his own sisters didn't want to. Then, one day when were outside playing in the mud, I saw him.

I noticed a young boy watching us from a ways away. He looked very lonely and sad.I quickly got up and rushed inside. When I asked Sarah who he was, she said his name was Sam and that I should play with him. He was gone when I ran back outside.

I never got to talk to him until I was 9 years old, when I had pushed Paul Lahote and Peter NightSky down into the mud for trying to bully Jake because he hung out with girls. Paul had also pulled my pigtail hard before I pushed him, the ass. Bella was back at Jacob's house with Sarah watching her. She had gotten sick and daddy was working.

"Don't pull my hair!"

Paul had looked up at me with his face burning a bright red. He scrambled up off the ground and took off running while Peter ran in the opposite direction crying.

Jesus, Paul was cute, but he was a little shitbag. He tried to be mean to me, but I wouldn't put up with it. Paul kept coming back though. He was mean to me and I was mean back, sometimes.

I tried my best to be nice to him because I knew his mom was an abusive bitch who left his dad. And I know that him and his dad moved to La Push from Tacoma. And that his dad drinks a lot. And that they lived in a nasty two bedroom house near the edge of town.

I didn't pity him. I didn't dare give him pity, because I knew how it was to be in that situation. I did my best to be nice. I tired to be nice to everyone, even though I didn't talk much. I actually really liked Paul.

He was the only one who never got me confused with Bella, even if we were wearing the same thing that day. I don't know how he could tell us apart, but he did, and by God it made me warm inside. He knew it too. I know he does.

Shut up.

So what if I was nursing a small crush on that stupid boy who pulls on my hair and always has scapes on his stupid knees.

I blame this body.

It was those big stupid puppy brown eyes.

Whatever.

"Why are you nice to him?"

I've never heard that voice before. When I turned around, I found a boy taller than me. The same one that watched me playing in the mud years ago. His eyebrows were furrowed at me. "He's always mean to you, but you're nice to him. You're only mean when he's mean to Jacob." I tilted my head at him. "You should always give others a chance, no matter what you've heard about them b'fore."

I think what I said to Sam Uley that one stay had stuck with him the rest of his life.

* * *

When Mom moved us to Phoenix, Arizona, I thought I was going to die.

We moved there from California when we were six years old. It's been years since then, but I still think it sucked. I looked forward to the holidays and breaks we got with Daddy, just to get out of this desert.

I was never all that good with the heat. Hot water, yes. Blanket straight out of the dryer, fuck yes. Hot, humid, sunny day in a desert climate? Get out of my way, my sweaty ass will bite you.

Bella didn't mind when we moved here. In fact, the very first cactus she saw when we moved here, she called it cute.

I bought her a cactus for her our birthday with allowance money I had, the week we moved here. She named him Steve.

Bella loved it.

My other half grinned so big, I still remember it. Did you know I'm one of the few people that can get her to do that? It makes me feel special.

Bella use to keep Steve in her windowsill.

She still has that cactus to this day, y'know? She somehow kept the damn thing alive. It really warms my heart. She loves it to bits. We had to put it in a bigger pot that took up space on the floor now. It has flowers growing on it.

When we moved to this bigger house, it was large enough that Bella and I didn't have to share rooms. Renee didn't think anything of it and put us in separate rooms. We didn't like it and we still sleep in one or the other's bed at night. We were never apart. Not even at school.

They tried to separate us and it ended..badly. It was like Bella ceased to function and I was causing so much chaos trying to get back to her. It was like I felt incomplete. Empty.

For the first time in my life, I found out what Bella was scared of.

She was terrified of being separated from me.

It was different other times, she knew where I was always, that I was safe, and that I would be back soon. She didn't feel comfortable being away from me 8 hours of the day.

They never really tried to separate us again after that horrid week. After that happened, we never again caused any trouble at school, but they did make us talk to a counselor. They never did figure out why Bella and I had such terrible separation anxiety. People called us creepy. I couldn't help it. While Bella was a little anti-social in the books, she didn't outright reject strangers. She did now.

I should feel bad, but I don't. I don't feel like any of these people have the right to be close to us. They couldn't even tell us apart.

They didn't deserve to be Bella's friend. One time, Bella convinced me to let an older girl become friends with us. I foolishly let it happen. We were 10, and I decided that Bella should be able to have other friends here besides me. I let her out of my sight.

That little bitch asked Bella to go to her house after about a week of being 'friends'.

Bella went and within an hour she came back bawling her eyes out. Her _so called friend_ was really an evil conniving bitch who set _'the weaker twin'_ ,her words not mine, up so her and her stupid circle of friends could bully her without me stepping in. Did they think I wouldn't know? The next day, I sent Bella home without me and I caught up to those kids. Turns out, they walked home everyday. There were two boys and three girls.

I beat the holy hell out of them, I was just so angry. Sure, I got a black eye and a bloody nose, but they were quickly reminded why nobody messed with Bella.

They apologized to her the next day.

Bella knew what I did, and Jesus Christ on a Crutch, I'm pretty sure she's one of the few people who scare me. That's how bad her scoldings were. I was surprised when she hugged me.

"Bella! What happened?!"

Renee thought it was Bella who had got beaten up.

Of course, one of the parents called Renee, angrily demanding I apologize, and for a while- Renee thought I should have to. Until I explained what happened. Then she got mad and told the other parent to stuff it. Mom hugged me and told me I was a good sister. She said Swans were very protective birds, kissed my forehead, and went to a palm reading class.

She made me and Bella take self defense classes with her the week after. About a week after that, she switched to a pottery class. Bella and I stayed in the self defense class. If Bella was messed with again, she'd be able to hold her own until I got there. Bella never really wanted to hurt anyone, even if they hurt her. Girl was a people pleaser. I told her to always be truthful with me, and she was always open with her feelings about things to me.

She did not like when I beat people up for her.

When we went back to Forks that summer, Jake thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. I pushed him in the mud when he said we should become tag team wrestlers.

* * *

When we were fourteen years old, I was walking home from detention.

I had gotten into a fight with another kid because he tried to pick on me, thinking I was Bella. After all those years, everyday Bella and I dressed exactly the same. You ask me, it wouldn't be that hard to tell us apart. Looking at us side by side, I looked scarier than Bella. I guess I had that look on my face.

Bella had to go pay bills that day, so she couldn't wait for me like she always did. I had missed the bus, so I was stuck walking home alone.

I never knew that danger could literally be around the corner.

Something had followed me. I couldn't hear shuffling and the odd growl or two.

It wasn't a vampire. No, it was too sunny for them to be around where we lived. But other supernatural creatures were around. I didn't have much of a warning before something jumped out at me.

It looked like a large, mangy dog.

I had hoped it was a mangy dog.

Last thing I remember was it lunging at me and I screamed.

I woke up in the hospital covered in bites that burned, Bella beside me and my mom arguing with my dad in the hallway with the doctor.

I was so angry.

It had better been a dog that bit me. I swear to God, I will not be a Mary Sue if I can help it!

* * *

 _Well thats chapter one._

 _I hope to get at least 5,000 words per chapter._

 _if you want gabby to be a werewolf, lemme know, or else it was just a dog that bit her._

 _i kinda do want her to be one._

 _eh_

 _you decide dudes_

 _add in your suggestions!_


	2. Chapter 2

_legit got my twilight books and rereading them to make sure I get timelines right._

 _im quickly realizing how much i hated breaking dawn_

 _if gabby becomes a werewolf, she wont be a shapeshifter like the la push wolves, think more along traditional aggressive bipedal wolf mixed with teen wolf werewolves._

 _silver could hurt her, shes strong, heals fast, cannot infect others as she would not be an alpha wolf, etc, etc.. among those types. she would probably be able to catch some vampires by surprise, like maybe alice or edward maybe even emmett if he couldnt grab her- but most vampires like volturi, jasper especially, carlisle,- vamps with experience could kill her. Newborns could kill her. the la push wolves, i think she'd be able to hold her own if she was fighting 1 on 1, or maybe 2 at one time. but when have the la push wolves ever fought something alone?_

 _gabby would just be a puppy after all. fighting knowledge doesn't just fall out of your ass. shed be on her own._

* * *

Bright. It's too damn bright in here.  
Am I in the hospital..? Yup. There's an observation window. I'm in the hospital.  
This room was burning my eyes. Why were hospital rooms painted _white_? I get you are trying to go for a sterile, clean feeling, but come on. _This_ , combined with that fluorescent lighting, is hurting me way more than my injuries. Now a soft brown, that would be a nice color to wake up to.  
That's it. I'm totally painting my room.

Turning my head was slightly difficult, but I managed.

There was a Bella shaped lump slumped in the chair next to my bed. She was doing that thing where she kept wringing her hands. Why was she so nervous?

"Hey lump."

Bella jumped. Her face was red and my sister had been crying. Jesus, I feel so bad. Bella usually is so in control and stoic, it's hard to make her cry. I made her cry. Fuck.

Then she attacked.

"I was so scared!"  
Bella was hugging me so tight I was sure I was turning blue. She was shaking. I gingerly wrapped my own arms around her, hissing at the sting of the dog bites. She felt so..upset. My clumsy twin was always the one who ended up in here, usually by tripping over her own feet. In fact, she sprained her wrist falling off her bike not even a week ago.

"Y'know..usually you're the one in the hospital, not me."  
Bella can apparently do a great impression of a boa constrictor.  
"Shut up," Bella started to sob. "I thought you were going to die!" Great, now she's crying again.  
I didn't really say anything after that. Didn't have to. We really don't need words when it's just us. I just held my sister and let her cry. I didn't know what happened. All I could remember was that rabid dog biting me. Oh God. I better not have rabies!

 _WHUMP_

"Bellaaaa!"

She hit me! My sister glared at me.

"How can you hit your poor, injured sister!?" I whined. I am 70% sure she left a bruise on my shoulder. Bella just glared at me.

"How can you joke about something like this? They had to give you stitches!"

"Well the rate you're going dear sister, I'm going to be in _pieces_ ," I snarked at her. I reached back, fluffing the pillows up behind me then reclined back into them. "The poor doctors will have to _glue_ me back together." I teased her, grinning all the way. I didn't like her worrying. Insert Bella disgusted noise.  
"Ugh."

I grabbed her hand. "Don't worry about it, this isn't the worst thing to happen to me, after all-" I lowered my voice to a faux whisper,"I walked in on Jake before."  
Bella thwacked me again,"Ewwww! Don't talk about things like that!" She shuddered. I know she likes Jake. Don't lie Bella.

let me ship it

let me have this thing

My dear sister's face soured. I couldn't help it, she had that grumpy old man face that only she seemed to pull off. I started giggling, then it slowly evolved into a loud cackling laugh. "O-ow!" It hurt to laugh, but those are the good ones am I right? Her face soured again.

The door opened again, my dad shuffled in, leaving my mom arguing with the doctor behind him in the hallway. He perked up when he saw me. "I thought I heard squabbling." Dad came up to the bed. "It's good to see you're up, Gabs." He seemed hesitant.

"I'd give you a hug, but I don't know if I'd hurt you or not." Dad was really more of a physical person than a Chatty Charlie. I threw up my arms, flexing my hands in the gimmie motion.  
"Bella has already battered me." Dad's mustache twitched. I'm guessing he's trying not to laugh. I got my hug though. Given it was a careful hug, hardly the squeezing kind I adore, it was a hug.  
"So what brings a guy like you to a place like this." I waved my hand around the eye-stinging bright room. Really, who thought white was a great color to wake up to in fluorescent lighting. It had a few uncomfortable looking blue chairs in the corner. Bella had drug one to the side of my bed.

"Well when one of my kids went _barking_ up the wrong tree and got put into the hospital, I kinda need to be here." Bella squinted at him. I sighed dramatically. "Jeez Dad, you got me in _stitches_ here."

"Ugh." Bella loves the puns. I know she does.

* * *

I honestly don't know why Mom was in a tiff with the doctor. I think she was just worried that I was in the hospital for serious injuries. Bella has been to the hospital so many times, we hardly bat an eye when she gets hurt. Mom ,however, always looses her shit when either of us end up hurt.  
Truth to be told, I think this was one of the few times she was able to tell us apart. Was it bad that made me irritated with her?

"Alright Ms. Swan, do you know what day it is?" "It's...March..9th..? ..2001." I can't even remember the day most of the time. I hope they don't hold that against me.  
"That's right, now, Ms. Swan; Could you please tell us what you remember about the dog?"  
Due to the severity of the bites, I had to talk to an animal control officer and a policeman. The dog that bit me went at me like it was trying to kill me.  
There were scratches all over my body that seemed more like gashes. Like the damn thing was trying to _dig_ into my body. Over eight bites. Many of the bites were shredded, as if the dog bit me and was trying to tear bits of my flesh off of my body. It actually did on my thigh. That bite had the most stitches.

I can't really remember the attack, only the dog lunging out at me.

They wanted me to describe the dog so they could go find it. It had ran off when somebody who lived nearby shot at it when they heard me screaming and saw the dog on top of me.  
I remember a huge, dirty dog. It was a sandy brown color and it was so fucking scary. The dog was bigger than the great dane my neighbors own. It looked like it would eat that great dane.

I gave my description and they left. I wanted ask the doctor of the bites were suppose to sting so bad. I didn't want to look stupid, so I didn't. Instead I deflected all my worries into humor. "At least it didn't get my pretty face, that would have been a _dog-gone shame_."

Dad thought that was funny. Mom and Bella, not so much.

"You do look a little _ruff_ , Gabs."

"Dad, please stop," Bella sighed her hands.

Thankfully, the beast did not bite my face, shoulders, or my neck. My money maker was safe. My hands and my feet were clear as well. My forearms were bitten, more than likely as I was trying to push it off of me. I hurt.  
I've never been hurt like this before. I didn't like it. I've had broken bones before. I've had concussions. I've had literal stab wounds, if you count my past life. None before has hurt like these bites do.

Now, I never was one for God. Not really. But I was praying my ass off that what attacked me wasn't what I thought it was. The whole twin link thing was bad enough, so was being reborn as 'one of the main characters relatives,' but to be...that on top of all that stuff? That's practically Mary Sue territory. Plus, I've had contact with with multiple main characters in La Push. That isn't exactly helping my position to deny Sue-age.

I feel like I'm in a bad fanfiction.

If I am..that.. then I am in trouble. What if I bit somebody? What if.. I looked at my sister, who had snuck outside food in here for me.  
What if I hurt her..?

Bella was my everything.  
She was 'the good twin' to my evil twin.  
Bella was going to go through shit kids her age shouldn't have to in a few years.

I was brought out of my thoughts when a greasy ass hamburger was tossed in my lap. I picked it up drooling. I could smell the fried mushrooms through the wrapper. "I swear you're as bad as Dad," Bella scowled at the grease dripping out of the hamburger as I unwrapped it. I bit into it, moaning at the taste. Mom was on a health kick and if I wanted my greasy food fix, I had to sneak off. Lord help me if Mom or Bella ever caught me either. Bella legit threw my McNuggets off the roof of our apartment building. I seriously cried like a lil' bitch. For Bella to bring me this masterpiece, she must really love me. I unwrapped it and took a huge bite.  
"You know, deep down, this shit tastes good," I moaned out. She eyeballed the hamburger in disgust. "You're going to have to stay here in the hospital for a few days. Consider this a favor for all the times you snuck food in for me." Ahh. The joy of not eating the hospital food.

My bites itched. I reached over to the bandages on my forearm and started to scratch it. I didn't even get two scratches in before Bella smacked my hand away. "You're going to tear them!"

I scowled. "They itch!" I tried to scratch them again.

"Stop that!"

Bella slapped my hand away again.

* * *

Dad had to go home the next day. He gave me plenty of hugs before he left though.

 _"Will you be able to still come up this summer?"_ Jake's voice crackled in the phone. "Please. Nothing can stop me. 'm sick of the sun." I sniffled into the phone. "Besides, you know if I can't come, Bella won't go."  
I had been home for about a week. My bites have been agonizing. The one on my thigh had been the worst. I haven't told anyone that how they hurt, only that they itched something fierce. I really was adamant about not going to the hospital again.  
The pain medication the hospital gave me wasn't helping. It was like I haven't took any at all. On top of that, I seemed to have caught the flu.

 _scritch scritch scritch_

"I'll hobble over there if I have to. The heat here is suffocating." I grumbled into the phone. I scratched at my arm. The scratching didn't bring any relief. I scratched harder. Summer break was inching closer and closer, and I refuse to stay in this scorching place. I wanted to go home.

 _scritch scritch scritch_

"So, what's been happenin' over there?" Jake startled prattling off about school and how Embry likes this 7th Grade girl named Jill and how he doesn't have a chance because she likes Peter and how the new teacher was really mean and- you get my point. Middle School drama. I'm wondering if this kid even breathes.

 _scritch scritch scritch_

With the sound of Jake talking in my ear and my eyes on the TV watching Judge Judy ream this disrespectful dude a new one, I really wasn't paying attention to my leg.

 _scritch scritch scritch_

 _"-en demanding to know what happened with you too. He won't quit bugging me, Em, and Quil."_ What?  
"Who? Sorry, Judy's beatin ass." Jake sighed. _"Do you ever watch anything else besides Judge Judy..?"_ "Yeah. Spongebob." Don't hate on me Jake, I know you watch Spongebob too.  
 _"Oh my god. Anyway, Paul's been bugging me about you."_ No fucking way.  
"You're jokin'. Crybaby Paul asked about me?" On screen, the case was dismissed because the plaintiff got snippy with Judy. _"Yeah. He came looking when he heard about it."_ "Why?" Paul doesn't like me. He still irritates the fuck out of me and he still picks on Jake and his friends. Last time I saw him the asshole was a few inches taller than me and rubbing it in my face all summer every time he saw me.

 _scritch scritch scritch_

 _"Heck if I know. He's weird."_ Jake sounded done.

"Crybaby hasn't been bullying you guys again, has he? You know I'll beat him down some more." Or not. I may not be able to push Paul down anymore at the rate he's growing. And we're fourteen years old. Pretty sure he doesn't start going through the face until he's around fifteen..or was it sixteen?

 _"Gabs, come'on. You can't keep doing that, the guys are starting to make fun of me having a girl fight for me,"_ Jake whined, embarrassed. "The guys didn't seem to have a problem hiding behind me when Paul and his friends are pickin' on them," I chirped at him, giggling at the memory. Quil had opened his big mouth and started things up. When things got too heated, they got me involved.

Jake groaned at the thought. _"C'mon Gabs, it's a macho thing. You can't keep fighting battles for us."_ "Stop involving me and I will." I could hear him gasp. _"Gabs!"_  
I could hear a voice in the back. I'm pretty sure it was Billy. _"Hold on a sec Gabs."_  
They talked for a moment or two, then Jake came back. _"Hey Gabs, I gotta go. Call you later."_ "O-" I coughed,"Kay," Stretching my left leg out. "Don't let me find out you did any dumb shit without me. Bye Jake."  
 _"Bye."_  
I hung up first, tossed the phone beside me, and turned the TV back up.

 _"Mista Gonzales, do I look like I'm stupid?"_ Judge Judy 'bout to fuck shit up.

 _scritch scritch scritch_

I kept absentmindedly scratching my bites. I didn't even notice I had been practically clawing at them the entire time I was talking to Jake. It was just so continuous.  
When Judge Judy had the Plaintiff thrown out, that's when I noticed.

 _scritch scritch scritch_

 _scritch scritch scri-_

 _Wet._

There was something wet under my nails.

When I looked down, I noticed I had scratched through the bandages, and had clawed at the stitches. There was blood oozing out of my leg and dripping onto the couch.

It still itched.

* * *

I didn't tell Mom. I didn't even tell Bella.

"Shit!"

I shakingly took my black shirt off and pressed it down on my leg, attempting to wipe up the blood. Oh no,no,no. I need to rewrap this. I needed to hide this. After that, I went and cleaned up my wound in the bathroom. I dug the brown bottle out of the bottom of the cabinet. I sat on the side of the bathtub and uncapped the bottle. I could hardly feel the hydrogen peroxide that I knew should sting. I watched it bubble and fizz in the mangled flesh. Why did it itch so _bad_?!  
I basically threw the bottle back under the sink and slammed the door shut. I yanked open one of the drawers next to it and snatched out the bandages. I tore them out of their packaging and began to wrap my bites back up again.

My hands shook. I could see my blood still caked under my nails.

Shit, shit, _shit._

I buried the evidence under the other garbage in the bottom of our trashcan in the kitchen. I would have to take the trash out later before Bella got home. I swear that girl could smell blood out like a hound dog, and she would have my head on a stick if she found out I tore my stitches because my dumb ass wouldn't stop scratching.  
Now to hide the rest of the evidence. I limped back into the living room, I had to clean up the rest of my mess.  
Our couch was a dark blue color, it was trying, but I got the blood out of it before it could stain too badly. To try to cover the smell up, I tried to soak it with some of the juice in the fridge. Then I cleaned it up again.

Bella liked to lay on the couch. If I didn't attempt to conceal this stupid smell, there was a chance she could sniff it out.  
I don't want her worrying.

Now that the couch was clean(ish), I looked myself over. My blue shorts had blood on them. Great. I hate laundry. Hobbling over to the laundry room was semi-difficult, considering I had to go down a few stairs. The journey was treacherous, as I somehow gained some of Bella's notorious clumsiness. Aka, my dumb ass tripped over nothing and I fell flat on my face. I had to slowly pull myself up by grabbing onto the washer. I gingerly pulled off my shorts, wincing. They were smooth basketball shorts, yet they still irritated my injuries. I examined them and put them in the washer. I got them dirty. Okay, more than dirty. The bottom half where I was scratching looked purple. Oh well, nothing some OxiClean wouldn't fix. Hopefully. I turned the dial and popped in the soap. I decided to forgo anymore clothes. It was only me, Bella, and Mom. No need to dirty anymore shorts.. Nope. Not being lazy at all...

My thigh started to burn again.

I staggered back to the couch. Leaning back into the cushions, I grabbed the remote intending to distract myself with more fine, brain draining television. "Are you fucking _serious_?"  
Judge Judy had ended and A _fucking_ American Werewolf in _motherfucking_ London had began.

Fuck this!

I threw the remote and waddled up the stairs. I'd rather read a book than watch that stupid shit!

* * *

I forgot exactly how little books I had.  
I had the first four Harry Potter books. The other three wouldn't come out for a few years and it killed me. At least I still had my Hobbit book. James and the Giant Peach, The Last Unicorn, and oddly enough- a few Junie B. Jones was it. Bella, my sweet smarter-than-thou sister has three tall bookshelves. All filled with books, the little bookworm. She reads anything she could get her hands on, doesn't matter what it was. She's amazing with English.

I suck shit at it.

However, I'm decent at History while my poor twin is horrid with it. We helped each other so many times, we got it down to an art.  
I swear though..

It's no wonder Bella was so.. _struck_? I think that's the word I'm looking for. Struck. Amazed. _Dazzled_. With Him.

Edward.

With all the Cullens really. Bella is super into Fantasy and The Supernatural. (Not the TV show, my babies I will wait for you in the distant 2005) She's also a sucker for romance novels too. As a joke, I was able to get her one of those bodice ripping, trashy novels. It actually had an innocent looking cover of a woman sitting on a cliff at night, gazing into the stars. After an hour of her reading it, she ran over to me and punched me over and over squealing. Of course her punches didn't hurt and it was actually pretty cute to me. Unfortunately this particular event occurred by the stairs and I actually fell down the stairs because I was laughing so hard.

I fractured my wrist during that funny little thing last year. Bella, on the other hand, had tried to prevent me from falling and had stumbled over a rug, so she went rolling down after me. She fractured an ankle. Ironic, ain't it?  
Sighing, (I seem to do a lot of that these past weeks), I closed Bella's copy of Through the Looking Glass and laid it down on Bella's part of the bed.

I ran my bare toes over the yellow quilt, snagging my pinkie toe on a thread. I tugged it free, looking over at the cat clock on the wall, I noticed it was only 4:30. Why was the bus so slow? When was Bella getting home?

"Christ Almighty."

I sounded so needy.  
I had no doubt in my mind that if Bella and I had cellphones, and in my modern time of 2016, we'd be texting each other nonstop whenever we were apart. I knew this kind of attachment wasn't natural. Bella knows this too. During all our years at huge schools, we've met many different twins before. Most of them were fine with being separated, they didn't really care. None of them slept in the same beds still, unless they were lying about it.

Bella and I.. we get twitchy when we were apart.

I've been feeling jittery since this morning. Re- no, _Mom_ , still doesn't see it. She knows we still sleep in the same bed, that we still dress the same nearly every day, that we are never apart if we can help it. I know she knows, because Dad actually called her to ask about it when we went over to his house two years ago. He's always asked about it and tried to discuss it with Bella and I, yet... He didn't understand.

I have to be around Bella. I need to keep her safe, what if-

A flash of my sister with red eyes crossed my thoughts.

When. When Bella becomes a vampire, she won't need me around anymore. I'm not going to try kid myself, I knew what was coming. I won't be able to stop Bella from being enraptured with Edweirdo. Even if I'm here to try and prevent it from happening, it will all be moot. Once Bella has her mind on something, good luck trying to convince her otherwise. I cannot stay out of Forks. Neither can my sister. We both have ties there and from what I hear from Mom, she's on the prowl dating again. Maybe I have such bad separation anxiety with Bella..because I know she's going to leave me behind for him.

"Mmmmf!"

I screamed into my white pillow. I needed to stop thinking about this. We are only fourteen years old. I still have time. I should be concerned with hormones and getting fat and trying to convince Mom to let me have a dog because doge memes are yet to be a think and Bella is allergic to cats. I don't have to worry about Bella leaving me and never coming back.  
Bella wouldn't be abandoning me for a sparkly Cedric Diggory with a creepy, overbearing, I-know-what-is-better-for-you-esque attitude anytime soon. Nope. No siree-bob. Not gonna happen anytime soon.

Maybe..

Maybe things will be different. I'm here after all.  
Maybe the Cullens won't come to Forks. Maybe Bella isn't into Edward- maybe she's into Jake! I've seen those looks! No wait..she had indigestion that time. That's right, because Dad cooked that night, and he insisted on it. She ate it so she wouldn't hurt his feelings. I threw mine out the window when he left the room.  
Damn. There goes my ship.  
Perhaps she'll like somebody else, somebody human whom my dear sister will marry and have a successfull life with. Not that dirtbag Mike. Bastard took my snickerdoodle cookie that Jake's mom made me when I was eight. I pushed him down in retaliation and I got in trouble for it.  
Total Bullshit.

Maybe Bella isn't into dudes. No wait... she has a thing for Leonardo DiCaprio. Damn you Titanic.

I rolled over, staring at the cactus I gave my sister so long ago.

Bella's cactus was getting bigger. It even had a flower bud on the top of it. The cactus still had the bowler hat I had placed on the top of it last month. Mom had painted the pot it was currently residing in. She painted little tiny suns with little tiny smiles all over it. How the thing was still alive was beyond me. Bella couldn't even keep a _goldfish_ alive.

 _Brrrrrrnggg_

Great. The phone was ringing, and I'm in that comfortable spot I know I will never again attain as soon as I get up and do my daughterly duties of answering the phone. But this spot though.

 _Brrrrrrnggg_

Sliding off the bed reluctantly, I was being lazy. Then I lost my balance and slammed into the floor. Almost immediately, I regretted my decision, hissing in pain. My thigh was in agony.

 _Brrrrrrnggg_

I scuttled up from the floor and hobbled as fast as I could out into the hallway. Thankfully, there was a phone upstairs. It was hooked onto the wall, and it was ancient as fuck. It had rotary dials dude. Fucking rotary dials. Cursing at my shit luck, I answered the phone.

"Hello?"

 _"Bella, hi! I'm calling to-"_  
My eyebrow started twitching. "Mom, it's Gabby, Bella isn't home yet." Honestly, we didn't sound the same did we? Dad could tell us apart on the phone. Why couldn't she?  
 _"Oh! Gabby, what are you doing up? You need to be resting!"_ But if I didn't answer the phone I would have gotten in trouble.

Because stranger danger.

I know, it doesn't make sense does it? I opened my mouth to respond, but Mom cut me off.  
 _"Anyways, since Bella isn't home yet, I'll just let you know- There's a convention going on the next city over and Darla invited me-"_ God I fucking hated Darla, the fake ass bitch. _"So I'll be gone for a few days-"_ Wait, what? Is she serious?! _"There's money in the cookie cow-"_ Of all the crazy shit- _"So I'll see you you girls later- Love you, Mwa~!"_ She hung up.

 _brrrrrrrrrrrrrr_

I stood there staring at the phone, the dial tone ringing in my ear.

I had been viciously attacked by a dog not even a week ago, sick with the flu, and I can't go to school. I still have issues walking. What was she thinking? My cheeks got hot and I could feel fire rising in my stomach. "What the _fuck_ Mom?!"  
Was she fucking serious?  
I slammed the phone back on the hook.  
Of all the irresponsible things to do! No fucking wonder Bella doesn't like talking to her! Neither do I!

I know Renee loves us, but we aren't dogs! She can't just decide to take care of us whenever. We _are_ her children.

I stomped down the stairs, thigh bite burning like hellfire. Bella was going to be upset.

* * *

"Why aren't you wearing pants."

Bella had came home at last.

"'Cause I don't do pants. You're going to be mad."  
She raised an eyebrow and told me to explain, so I did. I waited for a reaction, but I didn't get one.

"Okay."

I was wrong. Bella wasn't upset, she was quiet. That's how it always was. I always flew off the handle, Bella became withdrawn.  
I coughed, thinking of what might cheer her up. "Want to watch a movie? We can make a blanket fort and drink that nasty tea you like." Bella gave me a tiny smile. "I'll go change clothes, you order food." She tossed the phone at me then made her way upstairs. After a long debate over the pros and cons between chinese food and pizza, I decided on pizza.

We ended up Edward Scissorhands later that night while eating cheese pizza. We made a blanket nest in the floor and curled up together."Sometimes, I wish we lived with Dad," She whispered, watching Johnny Depp slice up ice sculptures. I stared at her in the corner of my eye. Bella had her fists balled up into the blanket. Clutching it in s death grip. She tilted her head down, a curtain of hair the same color as mine blocking her face out to me.

This was the first time I ever heard her say this. She already knew how I felt our living situation, and I knew how she felt. This was new.

Did Pizza Hut do something to the pizza?

"..." I reached over and squeezed her hand. "You know.. we could live with him. He'd love it," I told her, hoping she would say yes. Bella furrowed her eyebrows. "Then who would take care of Renee?" There it was. Who would take care of Renee. The mom who was suppose to take care of the kids, not the other way around. Sure, Mom works, but it's Bella who handles all the finances. Bella makes sure we pay the bills on time. Bella and I both go grocery shopping. We practically take care of ourselves. When we lived with Gran, she watched us. When we moved out here, we watched ourselves.

I can't really remember a time when our flighty mother stayed like she was suppose to and not when she was trying to impress somebody. I felt like a pet that a child begged for their parents to get them for so long, but they lost interest in the pet after a while. Don't get me wrong, I know she doesn't really do it on purpose. Renee doesn't really think things through or about the consequences of her actions, or how they affect those around her.

Our mom does love us, but she does neglect us to an extent. It's a good thing school is almost out. Then we can go to Dad's and see Jake. And..put this behind us for a while.

I can hang out with my sister and ignore this sinking feeling in my heart that this wasn't a normal dog bite.

I can pretend that everything is okay.

* * *

 _Ahh. Chapter 2, how you eluded me._

 _we are slowly getting there_

 _if you have any suggestions_

 _feel free to leave em_


	3. Chapter 3

_wowie it's been a while guys not exactly 5000 words, it is 2500. but i felt like i was stretching it already. slowly trying to get the flow back, yknow?_

* * *

Of all the sheisty things Mom could do. This one nearly took the cake. Therapy. She put me in therapy. Her, of all people, said I needed to 'get some help'. Really? Just really, Renee? I scratched at the armrest of the chair I was sitting in, annoyance forming on my face.  
"Miss Swan, could you answer my question please?" I didn't like the therapist. He treated me like I was dumb.  
I stared at the cat clock behind him. Its eyes kept flicking left and right and it was pissing me off. Irrational, I know. But I really didn't want to be here. This room had an ugly wallpaper from the 1980s and Doctor White smelled like a foot left in a sandwich bag that fermented in the sun. He also asked stupid questions. Okay, I wasn't being nice. I knew I wasn't. But this guy deserved my irritation.  
"For the last time, I _don't_ want to kill myself," I said through gritted teeth. I wasn't suicidal. I wasn't self-harming. I didn't mean to hurt myself! "I was scratching my leg _because it itched_." The Quack clicked his pen and wrote down on his little notepad. He clicked the pen again and started to talk. The Quack started to drawl on and on about self-care and de-stressors among some other boring things and I tuned him out. He's like a broken record I swear.  
Staring into the constant moving eyes of the cat clock, I thought about how I got here.

* * *

I had to go back to the hospital not too long after I had ripped my stitches with my scratching. My leg after that had become tender and hot, while the pain had slowly started to become unbearable over the next few days. When the nurse removed the grotty looking bandages over my wound to inspect the stitches he found pus oozing through. He had cleaned it up and he noticed where I had mangled my leg trying to scratch it. That's probably what caused the infection in my wound because I'm an idiot with zero self-control. The nurse stared at it for a while, then he turned to my mom and said he had to speak with her. Which then turned into 'an intervention' with my primary doctor, the nurse, and my mom. And what a shit fit that was. Renee was wailing with her mascara running down her face about where did she go wrong and how I broke her heart. Like, ummm?

Long story short, they think I'm self-harming because I keep scratching my wounds, not just the one on my thigh. I had been scratching at all of the injuries the dog had given me but the thigh wound was the one I picked at the most. Most of the smaller injuries like the scratches had healed but the bites have still yet to heal. Mom had been already trying to pursue me into seeing a therapist because according to her I had been acting 'off'. I don't really think she should have any say in how my normal behavior is considering she didn't really know me. And y'know, the little fact that she could hardly tell her kids apart. Bella, on the other hand, is the reason I'm tolerating being here. Bella knows me. She could tell me when something was wrong. And she did. I had been having nightmares of the attack. It was always like I was reliving it or I dreamt of my body ripping itself into the form of a beast. I always woke up with a scream stuck in my throat with Bella hovering over me. I felt guilty waking her up in the middle of the night because I couldn't handle a nightmare. And getting the bed sweaty. We always had to change the bedding because I would sweat through so much.

The click of a pen snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Miss Swan." Doctor White tapped his notepad with his extravagant ink pen. Fountain type with gold accents. I looked into his beady black eyes. Does he know how much I don't like him? Is he aware he smells like a rotting leather shoe? "Did Animal Control ever contact you about the dog?" ' _You already know what happened with the dog.'_ I thought to myself. "Yeah, they called my mom. Damn thing killed a few cats before they caught it. It was foaming at the mouth," I lead on, thinking about the monstrous beast that attacked me. "They had to shoot it. It tested positive for rabies."  
I was forever traumatized by the rabies vaccines I had to receive.  
"Are you afraid of dogs now?" Doctor White questioned. "No," I automatically responded. I loved dogs. Always have and always will. Did he honestly think I was traumatized, by the shots yes, but by dogs? My nails dug into the vinyl in the chair's armrests. I wouldn't let this freak accident affect my view on one of my favorite animals. "Have you been around a dog since the attack?" Doctor White inquired, scribbling something on to his yellow notepad.  
"No."  
"Why not?"  
 _'Because I couldn't leave my house you Quack!'_ I breathed slowly out of my nose, trying keeping my rising temper in check. "I haven't had the opportunity to be around one." The Quack hmmmed and leaned back in his plush chair, dabbing his forehead with a silk rag. "I'm seeing some hostility here Miss Swan, have you thought about breathing exercises?"  
Oh my god.

* * *

"Soo.. how was therapy?" Bella was leaning on the headboard organizing papers. I was flopped over the foot of the bed with a magazine covering my face. "Ugghhhhh." Bella slipped a paper in the shredder plugged in by the bed. It sounded like a wood chipper. "It wasn't that bad was it," A sock covered foot poked me in the ribs. "He kept asking if I was going to kill myself, then he kept asking different questions about the dog attack, then he kept asking different questions about how aggressive I was." I pulled the magazine off my face, looking at the green ogre on the page. Shrek came out not that long ago and I made Bella watch it with me. Bella couldn't understand why I was laughing so hard when I saw the commercial for the movie. I couldn't really explain Shrek meme's now could I?

"I'm not aggressive. A bit pushy, but aggressive?" I looked over to my twin. "Am I?" Bella raised a brow at me. "You called yourself 'the baddest bitch' after knocking Paul on his ass and sitting on him for pulling Jake's hair last summer." She wiggled her toes at me. I sat up. "Okay, that was the exception." "You threatened Francine with making her choke on her own necklace." "Well, she shouldn't have opened her fat mouth about Niko's braces. She's a bully and she backed off, didn't she?" Francine's the stereotypical 'Mean Girl' who thought she was hot stuff until I called her out on her bullshit. Fucking long-necked, croc wearing hippo, is what she is. Bella continued her footie assault on my person. "You are a bully, Gabby. You bully the bullies." "You're my twin, you're supposed to love meeeeee." I whined and rolled over onto my belly, listening to the little radio playing on the desk.

 _"Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner..."_

The radio switched to a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. I was relieved that Bella, Miss-I-Don't-Like-Music-Bella, actually liked some music. She was very picky, leaning towards alternative and old rock music. Lord help me if I change the station when she's listening to it. My taste was similar but much more expansive. Pop music from the time of my past life I kind of like, but early 2000s pop got on my nerves. I just wasn't a fan.

We listened to the song in silence, the only sound was from the shredder. I broke the silence.

"The Quack says I have separation anxiety." My voice was muffled into the bed. Bella tapped my back with her foot. "We both do," She said, sliding another paper into the shredder. "He wanted me to get onto pills." I braided a small strand of my hair. "Mom wouldn't make you." Mom was a neglectful nut at times, but she did like the more alternative side of things. I changed the subject.  
"Mom is taking us grocery shopping tomorrow." The Quack gave Renee a list of foods that I should eat. I really don't want to go food shopping with her. Last time I did, Mom brought home so much Wheatgrass and Kimchee. I'd rather eat a whole basket of freaking grapefruits than drink wheatgrass again. Oh well. I can sneak some good snacks into the cart when Bella isn't looking.

"Girls! Come get dinner!" Mom called up the stairs. I shuddered on my way down the stairs, clicking the radio off as we passed it. Tonight was one of the few nights Renee demanded to make dinner. I share a grimace with Bella.  
I must prepare my stomach.

* * *

It was strange being alone at the store. By alone I mean not attached at the hip with my sister. I had been deemed irresponsible and not to be trusted with the grocery shopping by my treacherous, hurtful sister. "Hmph." Bella was somewhere at the other end of the store looking for the 'healthy' food that was on the list. Mom ditched us as soon as we came in to inspect 'superfoods'. Mom said she had found a new recipe to try. 'Ew.' My stomach twisted at the thought of eating that disgusting slime that mom called a casserole last night again. Mom said it was a new recipe she wanted to try, but it was a mistake considering she couldn't cook. We somehow stomached it so we wouldn't hurt Mom's feelings. It was so bad. Mom said it was supposed to be something called a Spinach Artichoke Quinoa Casserole, but looked nothing like any casserole I had ever seen. So Bella wanted to redo it,"The right way," She had said. I wanted nothing more than to hide at the local McDonalds and drown my sorrows in McNuggets and soda. My cravings were killing me. It's been months since I've had anything I wanted to eat. Drink. Anything that I enjoyed and haven't had since my stay at the hospital.  
I stood before a small fridge near the registers. No soda. This friggin store was trying to kill me. I sighed and looked at my selections. Water, water, fancy water, water filtered straight from a cloud, and what would you know- more water. Aside from the locally labeled juices, there were only bottles of water and small bottles of milk. Wasn't too much of a fan. I mean, I'll drink it, but it's not what I wanted. I reached into the cooler and wrapped my hand around some brand that claimed it was straight from a spring with no filtration whatsoever. Yeah. Sure Jan.  
It was cold and clear, I could see my reflection in the plastic. I stared in disbelief at the price of this bottle. Why the hell was it so much? Considering the financial situation I was in during my past life, it doesn't surprise me that I'm a cheap bitch during this life. Although.. Upper Middle Class was very much better than the poor class I was in. But still, no way in hell I was paying nearly four dollars for a small ass bottle of water. I'll go somewhere else thanks. "Nope." I put it back. That was ridiculous. I scanned the other bottles then decided I didn't need any of them. Closing the door, I looked for Bella. We usually shop at a different store, but Doctor Quack told Mom that we should try certain foods to 'help with my mood swings'. I don't really see how that helps aside from being a massive pain in my ass. Mom can't cook and I can't stand looking at the price tags on the shelves here. Wouldn't Walmart be better? The stuff here is nearly triple the price if not double than what we could get at almost any other store that sold groceries. I glared at a 10 dollar watermelon. This store was too bougie for me. The floor was wooden, shiny, and made my shoes squeak when I walked on it. Where oh where has my twin gone? I scoped out the aisles, searching for that head of dark brown hair. The store had classical music playing over the loudspeakers. Can't say I've been in a store like this before. I found Bella inspecting two different brands of Kale. I came up behind her and slumped my weight onto her shoulders,"What are you doing?" She didn't even jump. "Hmph. You're no fun." "I can't tell the difference in between these two." Both bags looked the same to me.  
"Do we have to get it," I questioned. "Kale tastes like ass." She did the old man face at me. "Yes, it's on the list."

"Bella Bear, we just-" I took the bags out of her hand and tossed them back on the shelf. "-Leave them there." Bella slapped my wrist and picked up the one with the yellow packaging. "No, we need one." My sister tugged on a long strip of my hair. "You need to eat better, Doctor's orders," She tossed the bag of nasty leaves into the shopping cart. "But it's gross," I grumbled in return. "Too bad." Bella pushed the cart down the aisle while scanning the wares on the shelves. At least I got some granola. That's good, right?

Ya'll don't even want to know what the total at the checkout lane was. I felt a little bit of my soul leave my body at the sight of it.

I couldn't wait to go to Dad's in two weeks. I would like to go fishing with him soon and get my dirty little hands on some of Harry Clearwater's fish fry. Anything but kale.


End file.
